Life……it’s way too short
I started writing this with so much anxiety of what the future holds that it literally made me sick. I cannot tell you how many times a day I overthink the smallest things. Am I going to get in a car crash, will my kids be ok at school, will I get fired, will my husband finally realize how crazy I am and leave me. That is all in just the first 5 minutes I wake up….. I definitely try to snap out of it really quick but sometimes I end up going down the freaking rabbit hole & think that no matter what I can’t climb out of it. Then boom – I am either in tears, a raging bitch, or calm as a cucumber so that everyone around me thinks I am just fine. Fine…..I HATE that word. It’s the word I use when I just want people to think I am ok and that my life is just peachy keen. When in reality I am FREAKING out on the inside 24/7, 7 days a week. I just can’t help it! They say” just calm down, take a breath, it’s all in your mind” – well DUH!!!!!! I know I am overthinking it and I know that I can eventually calm down but don’t tell me that it’s all in my head – that is what pisses me off.
I wish I could just be chill as a summer breeze on the beach. Instead I am a subway train filled with people rushing to their destination. I wish I was the summer breeze just for a split second during the 24/7, 7 days a week hurricane in my head. I meditate, I breathe, I stop and smell the freaking flowers and realize that I have a million things to do and no time to do them. I begin the frenzy of questions and doubts….it doesn’t stop until I can find some sort of resolution some sort of answer, when I realize I am not that calm summer breeze…..
I tell myself Be Patient, Be Kind, Be Humble – Conquer every task that is giving to you Quickly, Swiftly, Correctly, & To The Best Of Your Ability. Life is way to short to think of the “what if’s” so be that cool summer breeze even if it’s only for a split second.